Finally

   Darn I'm a day late again but oh well. It's been a week since the ICU festival has ended and I don't really know what to say right now. I am still tired and I am just still swimming in the memories that I made in the past month and a half. What an experience.
   For the first time, I got to experience what it was like to be a leader and a follower at the same time. I was one of the people responsible for making a peace for the 17s and I was also responsible for being a dancer for the opening number and the very last peace of the whole show.
   I believe this was maybe the hardest part about the past month and a half. I had to deal with certain problems when I was leading the 17s while being an active participant in the other peaces that I was responsible for dancing in.  It's difficult trying to keep the motivation level at a constant place when focusing on two completely opposite things. Often times, I found myself unable to concentrate on the peaces that I was a dancer in because I was caught up thinking about the peace I was responsible for making. That would lead to me not being able to commit to the first and last peaces. This just became a cycle that I could not escape.
   Now that it is over, I could look back and think to myself, "wow I'm glad I got through that". However, this is certainly not the last time I will go through something like this. I have to learn how to keep my motivation at a constant level over a long period of time in order to be efficient as much as possible.
   For those of you that came to watch, I really appreciate it. Thank you so much for taking time out of your day to watch us perform. I hope we were able to leave something in your minds or heart that day. We will do just the same next year and make it even better:)

Class on 10/28/13: 誠は天の道なり. Goodness is the way of life

   Today, we listened to a speech by Mr. Kitashiro, the current president of IBM. I felt very guilty for running in late to class but it was such an honor being able to attend the lecture. Our stream 1 class probably had fewer people than the executive committee meetings. He talked about his approaches in being a leader through a few examples. There is no doubt that a lot of us gained some really great tips on how to become a leader and on how to just become a genuinely good person:)
   While he was giving his advice on leadership, I was looking into his character and his philosophy on basically, life. I was able to figure out that he is a man of compassion and that he really makes effort to become the greatest person he can be. On the bottom of his wikipedia page, it says that his favorite saying is, "誠は天の道なり”, or in my interpretation, "Goodness is the way of life". I think he knows from the very core that, to be a great leader, one must be a great person. And it was amazing because I was able to see that in him during the 70 (55 in my case) minutes of his presentation.
   I just find it utterly amazing that someone so famous and successful can be such a good person. I always knew that great leaders were great people. But I just couldn't get a very clear image of that until today by actually seeing someone like that.
   In addition, when a major figure like him says to stay positive, bright, etc, it really convinces you because that's probably exactly what he did in times of adversities. Guess I just gotta do that :)

10/28/13: Callings

   So I'm two days late with this post but I'll do the entry anyways. Well I have not even a week left until the ICU festival. Honestly, as expected, not everything goes the way you want. That's life. But when you really experience all of that for a very long time, it gets to you (haha).
   This reminded me of Hibiya sensei's lecture that we listened to on Monday. The one part about her lecture that echoed in my mind was her vision for education. She presented that a university is a place that people discover his or her calling.
   Now that, reminded me of something else. Before I moved to Japan from New York, I had the choice of staying in the states or moving back to Japan. For some reason, despite my immaturity at the time, I was grown up to think that moving to the other side of the world would give me a better view on life. I thought it would allow me to look at the world from a whole new perspective.
   This turned about to be true. However, the sad/good? part about this is that, I found most of it through dancing. If I didn't join the dance club in high school, I definitely would not be interested in leadership, communication skills, creativity, etc. Maybe I might have been drawn to something else. Who knows.
   Right now, I don't regret a thing about starting dancing. However, I do feel like I'm in need of a different calling these days. On the other side, I also feel like dancing is a tool that allows me to find callings of other sorts as well. I know I can't be dancing forever like this, but I know that if I don't, I might lose another opportunity on the downside. It's a hard knock life.
   But all I can say is, if something is thrown at you, hit it back as hard as you can. Because that's probably what people want to see, and that will probably work best for you at the end. This is one of the mindsets I want to keep for the rest of my college life. Hopefully I can find a another calling:)

Class on 9/18/13: Crazy stuff

   So during the first half of class, we all just simply sat down and talked about our current situation with our papers. I guess all the people in my group were doing an okay job with our papers. But to be honest, it just seemed like everyone (including people outside my group) were caught up with so many other projects inside and outside of class. Knowing what kind of dramas other students are going through really helps see how hard someone has been working (or not). When I talk to people who are just constantly busy with schoolwork, clubs, jobs, etc, I feel more comfortable. I feel like I have to hang in there. The first half of class reminded me today that this is exactly what we should be going through as students of ICU.

   The second half was about a speech contest. A contest that provides winners a tour to Hong Kong. Damn, the more I think about it, the more I feel like going. But anyways, the 2010 winner of the contest, Yukari san, spoke to us about the contest and her experience in Hong Kong. Honestly, even though it was a great presentation, I could not concentrate on it because of Yukari san's superb English skills. I thought to myself, "Born and raised in Japan...And this is what happens???" I was just shocked. I was in awe for the rest of the presentation which was probably about ten minutes. Some things in the world I just don't understand. This is one of the thing that gets to me. And the truth is, I often compare myself to these people. I contemplate if I can pull such a thing off with sheer determination and hard work. Sometimes, I don't know if I should be motivated or if I should quit. But I hope all of you reading do know that I hate quitting :)   GOTTA DU WORKKK!!

Leading at the Edge - Chapter 8: Positive Vibes

   Let me be honest. Lately, I have not been doing so well these days. I'm not saying I'm depressed or lonely or anything of that sort. It's been hard to find my true self. I don't think I have ever been this busy in my life. I have to choreograph for the first year performance, remember choreography that my senpais make, find time to practice, take part in numerous meetings, get to work, and last but not least (not least at all), I have to do my work. I already missed one entry for last week, which I am a little upset about.
   What I am trying to say is, I have become so busy these days to the point that I don't know how to control certain emotions anymore. It's hard for me to stay positive about one thing when the others are going straight downhill. Maintaining composure has been the hardest thing to do for me in the past few weeks. It's hard when we're stressed with so many things.
   But there has been one thing that has kept my motivation at a reasonably high level. That, ladies and gentlemen, is responsibility; responsibility of completing certain tasks for the team. When so many people (30) are on the same page as you, waiting for the next move, it's just not appropriate at all to feel completely down about something. Personally, I'd like to tell myself that if I'm not being positive, neither will the team be. It's tough but the more I feel responsible about something, the more I feel I have to be stronger. Sometimes, I end up hurting myself tremendously but I feel that this approach to staying positive and sending positive vibes has helped me grow:)

10/7/13: Conflicts

   Today we discussed our experiences with conflict, specifically in teams and groups. I had a lot of stories since I dealt with a lot of "people problems" back when I used to be the 部長 of my dance team in high school. We had 5 guys on the team. I thought that teams with few people were easy to manage. That is probably what everyone thinks at first. But of course, yes, I got to find out that it was actually quite freaking difficult.
   It turned out that, in the dance team's case, less people made it possible for each person to speak out their opinions more freely. If it's a team of five people, there's probably no such thing as a "majority" and people should not be worried that much about saying things that might get on someone else's nerves. This is why it was easy for people to freely express their true and honest feelings to each other. I am not saying this is a bad thing at all, but when it crosses a certain line, the situation can get pretty sticky.
   What I'm trying to say is, its not about the number of people that makes it easier/harder for a group to work together. It's just really about each person in the group and if they are willing to cooperate with one another. Being honest is the correct thing to do of course. But it's equally important to see what is most appropriate for the occasion and see if it's really necessary to say certain things.

10/07/13: Amnesty Post #2 - Chapter 5 ~ Leveraging

   This chapter talked about some of the juiciest things I was looking forward to in the book. The main theme of these few pages were about team and how to actually get people moving. I really enjoyed reading the part, "Leverage Everyone's Talents- and Deal with Performance Problems Constructively". To me, there is nothing more important than getting the most out of your team members and letting them do what they do best. I feel that leaders who are successful in this strategy produce results that are 20% more high quality than the originally calculated outcome.

   This passage reminded me of the methods I use, or shall I say, many choreographers use, in order to draw out the best from their dancers. For the Smooth Steppers performance this year, I am one of the three choreographers responsible for making the 17作品 (17 Sakuhin), which is a performance composed of only dancers from the first year. This means that a lot of the dancers are beginners who started dancing only a few months ago. On top of that, many September and OYR students join the team as well. We have a team 30 people, most of whom are not greatly experienced dancers. 

   Here is the problem: When other performances are going to be composed of dancers who have been training for as long as 3 years, what can we do in order to not look like complete S#$%? The other two choreographers and I really use our brains in order to figure out a way to let everyone stand out. We give certain people a good place to dance at in a certain formation or give certain people solos. We decide this based on each person's specialties and characteristics. Some people may have had dance experience outside street dancing. Some people may have charismatic character. Some people may have great facial expressions. This becomes the basis for formation making. This way, each person will be motivated to do their best in their highlighted parts. We feel that as choreographers, it is vital for every person to have the same amount of motivation. Leveraging the specialties of every person on the team may help leverage the overall motivation of the whole team :)

10/7/13:Amnesty Post #1 - Face to Face

   Last week, we broke down our characteristics as a person in order to find out what negotiation styles we match. Seeing that everyone had different point ranges between each style and different strong points made it interesting because it lets you see a side of someone's personality you usually don't care about. After stacking up all the points on my sheet, I ended up discovering that I had the lowest points for the "avoiding style". I'm not sure if it was supposed to happen, but this made me really happy. Maybe more satisfied than happy. I really thought this was highlighting my psychology on leadership and organizations.
   To start off, if someone has a serious problem with a certain direction an organization is headed towards, it should not be kept a secret. I have met and seen many people who share the same opinion towards groups and organizations they are apart of. People tend to talk behind others' backs when they do not like what is going on. Often, it is the leaders and the heads of the group who are blamed for not keeping the organization a comfortable place to be in. It is usually them that has to take responsibility for every small flaw, even if it does not regard the whole group.
   I believe that the well being of a group or an organization can only be kept by the cooperation of every single member. That means the active participation of every single member on the roster. I feel that even if it may result in conflicts, it is worth confronting the problem face to face. A leader would definitely want to know what specifically is not functioning in his team. I am not sure if this applies to everyone, but if I was to lead a team of people into a certain direction, I would like to know if someone feels uncomfortable. If one person admits, maybe another person will become more honest about their opinions as well. Every argument in an organization should be respected as long as every team member is willing to cooperate with one another. If every member of the group admit their opinions, it will make room for discussion. I believe that discussions with a clear cut goals are what really improves the quality of team work. Thus, I feel that less avoiding, and more face to face confrontation with a problem is key in looking at reality and fixing what needs to be fixed.

Leading At The Edge Chapter Three: Wrong Turns

   Right at the second page of this chapter, I was reminded of a saying that I heard sometime long ago. The passage was about how Shackleton embraced Darwin's belief that natural selection leads to perfection even during a time when he was stuck during an expedition because of a blizzard. This gave me a random flashback...to a time I don't really remember but was very memorable (I'm sorry I'm not making sense here). The saying went somewhere along the lines of, "Enough wrong turns can lead you in the right direction". This really touched upon me. It was more than an inspiration. I felt like these words alone could give me hope. Ever since, these words have been something that I've basically lived by.
   People say that you have to be optimistic; you have to keep your head up high. But to be quite frank, I find that an incredibly hard thing to do. Looking back to the 19 years of life that I have gone through, I don't think I've met one person who was able to stay purely positive during times of hardships. We have to admit it: We tell everyone around us, "Hey, you know its going to be alright. Just forget about it and move on", knowing that if we were in his/her position, we wouldn't be able to cope with the stress to smoothly either.
   We all know that ultimately, since there is almost no way to forget about the current problem, we have to figure out a way to turn that into a positive. I may be saying the most obvious things but I think it was worth reminding ourselves. Even if we keep making the wrong moves, we should know that someday, it will lead us to the place we were always striving to get to.

9/27/13: When something's really gratifying.

   Today, at Bakayama, my group and I discussed what each of our gratifications were. A lot of us talked about how music really helps keep our mind off things. We agreed that it was one of our main sources for inspiration and motivation. In addition to the characteristics listed on the sheet, we also thought that perhaps gratifications can also negatively affect people. For example, I used to be on the track team during my middle and high school days. Running was a source of relaxation for me. At certain times, I felt so comfortable running long distances that I almost got high on it. I loved running.
   But just as much as I loved it, I hated it at the same time. It might have been one of the main reasons for my random mood swings back then. Whenever I was unsatisfied with how practice went or when I had a bad race, it really motivation out of me. Discouragement, shame, depression, are words that I could use to describe the emotions I felt during these times. But as everyone knows, it's when you get passed through these adversities that makes you feel like you've achieved something.
   I feel that a gratification doesn't become a gratifications unless you suffered somehow in the process of achieving a certain goal.

  Do Wurk Do Wurk:)

Leading at the Edge Week 1: RINKIOUHEN?

   After reading the first three parts of Leading at the Edge, I was reminded of a certain Japanese phrase, "臨機応変 （りんきおうへん）". It's used when someone or an organization knows how to react and take measures during certain situations that require important decision making. Reading about the importance of "finding a new mark" really got me thinking about this phrase. I thought it was a good way to explain its meaning in English. Leaders have to know exactly what to do in order to set a positive mood for his or her organization when at the edge.
   Reading further made me think about this expression even more. In the last few pages of the first chapter, Perkins talks about the importance of distracting someone when he or she feels troubled in order to help the person forget about the problem(s) at hand. This, I realized was a great method that I can use when I lead dancers in a certain group later on.
   I realized that after reading these chapters, I felt that being a great leader does not only require intelligence but experience as well. I think that one must always try to react take measures most suited to the occasion. However, not everyone can do the right thing in the beginning. It takes loads and loads of mistakes before once can really get used to taking situations under his or her control when at the edge. I feel that great leadership doesn't really result from hours of studying. It takes a huge chunk of time and practice.
   Which is why I'm looking forward to studying about and actually experimenting with leadership skills this term with Ken:)

Class on 9/20/13: Literally at the Edge

   During the last 10 minutes of class, Inoken asked each group to talk about a time when we were at the edge of a situation. This was too easy. I had a sudden flashback right at that moment. This might not have to do with *leading* at the edge but I was certainly out of my comfort zone. This is what happened:
   I was on my way home from tennis practice that day. I was a 7th grader sitting on the passenger seat in my Mom's car. After getting off the car, my mom and I took out a bunch of grocery bags from the trunk of the car and walked up the staircase to our front door. Mom opened the door and we both entered the house. Right then, a black shadow sprinted down the staircase from the second floor. Thinking that it was my dad, mom called out my dad's name. No answer. A pause.
  This is when my body started taking control on its own. I told mom right at that moment that we had to get out of the house immediately. Without even bothering to let go of our grocery bags, we ran out the door screaming for help. Luckily, we were able to get into my friends house that was nearby.
  It turned out that we walked in on a robbery. We got in the house before almost nothing was taken. But who knows what could have happened if I hadn't told mom to run out the house. I was literally at the edge of my life (haha). Experience of my life I tell you. I won't ever forget.

Interpersonal Communication: It's All About Impressions

   To begin with, I was more than delighted when I first found out that I was going to study about leadership in RW this term. I do not mean to brag but there were a couple times in my life where I was chosen/volunteered as a leader for certain events/groups. I would have to say that the most profound experience I had being a leader was when I was the 部長 (bucho) for the dance club that I took part in during the second year of high school. I remember myself trying ridiculously hard trying to get that spot on the roster during my days as a first year. Knowing that I had to leave a good impression on my senpais for them to like me and eventually choose me as the next bucho,  I tried harder than anyone in my grade in terms of skill, character, and last but not least, leadership.  It was all about appeal.
   As a result, I was successfully able to become the leader of the team and my dream had been realized. However it wasn't all about appeal anymore. I had to make sure my team mates were getting the attention that they deserved. I had to start contacting leaders from other clubs and teams. I had to check if what I was doing as a leader was being approved by the guys on my team. Before all of this had begun, I was used to just leaving a good impression on my peers through talking to them in a friendly manner and just trying to be happy and funny. I entered a whole different world. This is when I realized that there were just so many requirements for a like-able leader. I feel that I can write about all the experiences I had during my time as a bucho in a different blog post so I'll stop this entry here. But I believe I have changed dramatically over the past two or three years starting from the first day I became bucho. I plan to learn about what I had experienced and what I will experience in the future in Inoken's class:)