Let me be honest. Lately, I have not been doing so well these days. I'm not saying I'm depressed or lonely or anything of that sort. It's been hard to find my true self. I don't think I have ever been this busy in my life. I have to choreograph for the first year performance, remember choreography that my senpais make, find time to practice, take part in numerous meetings, get to work, and last but not least (not least at all), I have to do my work. I already missed one entry for last week, which I am a little upset about.
What I am trying to say is, I have become so busy these days to the point that I don't know how to control certain emotions anymore. It's hard for me to stay positive about one thing when the others are going straight downhill. Maintaining composure has been the hardest thing to do for me in the past few weeks. It's hard when we're stressed with so many things.
But there has been one thing that has kept my motivation at a reasonably high level. That, ladies and gentlemen, is responsibility; responsibility of completing certain tasks for the team. When so many people (30) are on the same page as you, waiting for the next move, it's just not appropriate at all to feel completely down about something. Personally, I'd like to tell myself that if I'm not being positive, neither will the team be. It's tough but the more I feel responsible about something, the more I feel I have to be stronger. Sometimes, I end up hurting myself tremendously but I feel that this approach to staying positive and sending positive vibes has helped me grow:)
Joki,
ReplyDeletethough we dont spend that much time together, i can definitely tell that you're stressed out these days. i mean i cant blame you, you're friggen busy.
but honestly ive never seen someone command a group so well like you do. you're a great leader and your dance people trust you for a reason:D
cant wait to see you guys perform!
Shiho
reading this comment at a time like this makes me want to cry. thank you so much shiho
ReplyDeleteHi Joki,
ReplyDeleteThanks for being so open about you are feeling right now. It is certainly understandable that you feel overwhelmed. Hang in there, and hang on to the belief that you will succeed, and when this is all over you will have gained tremendously from the experience. They say that those who are most successful later in life typically had to overcome many challenges when young, which provided them with the confidence that it is possible to succeed at challenging tasks with the right kind of willpower and determination.